| You perceive my thoughts from afar. (Psa 139:2) | |
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I
testify that the God I worship hears my voice and responds to my earnest
questions with care. I don’t think I really believed this for most
of the short time I’ve spent in Christ. I toss out questions by the
dozen and let them hang like ornaments without ever looking for a response,
not really believing I will ever get one. What a revelation occurred in
my spirit when I suddenly knew that the answers were before me, if only
I would open my eyes! I am accustomed to posing questions without seeking answers. Sometimes in my vanity I have been more in love with my questions than I was with finding an answer. An inkling that God answers my questions came during a telephone interview with Hillary Faith of Messianic Vision in Santa Cruz. She was asking me how I came to know Jesus and I began my answer with what had become a customary choice of words. |
| I
told her how I had a relationship with God going back many years and had
frequently asked God to please tell me somehow if He wanted me to follow
Jesus, but that I never got an answer to that question. Then I handed Hillary
a line I'd been repeating mindlessly since childhood. “Sometimes when
we don’t get an answer, it’s because we are asking the wrong
question.” At the moment I spoke those pat words my eyes were opened
to the knowledge that in fact, I had received an answer to the very question
I had asked, but had not until that moment recognized it. The answer to the question I had been posing to God had come slowly and gradually over the course of years. What grew during that time was my conviction of need for a savior. When I finally asked Jesus into my heart, it was because I had grown concerned for my eternal soul. I didn’t see the answer to the question because I’d never been answered with such steadfast patience and time taken. Whoever heard of an answer that takes years to reveal itself? Yet there it was. I had not asked the wrong question. In fact I had asked the right question, and asked it repeatedly in deep earnest over many years. The answer was my convicted heart. That was the beginning of understanding the nature of the dialogue that occurs in relationship with God. He listens! He hears! He responds! |
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I have endeavored to make a record of how God has answered some of my
questions. This is only a tiny sampling of the many many prayers that
God has graciously and creatively answered. This selection is meant to
illustrate the conversation, the back and forth, the give and take between
a mortal human who seeks to know God better, and the Creator who seeks
to instruct me. Praise His holy Name! |
| Once while reading John 15 I wanted help in understanding what it means to remain or abide in God and to have God remain or abide in me. So I asked God to explain. He did, though not right away. One day some time later as I was driving He showed me a banner that was stretched across a boulevard to announce a festival. He drew my attention to the banner in a way I have come to recognize as the “Ahem!” of the Holy Spirit, as though He were saying, “Pay attention to what I am about to show you!” At that moment the banner that had hung limp such that you couldn’t read the words on it suddenly became filled with a gust of wind. The fabric became stiff and full and seemed to stand up on its own. The banner came to life when the wind remained in it, and without the wind, the banner hung lifeless. This illustration answered me perfectly. Weeks later I was still waiting for the answer to the rest of my question, that is, what it means to abide in God. Again I got an “Ahem!” as I was in church, and the word on a board in large letters before me was KING. The Holy Spirit seemed to say, “This is my answer to the rest of your question. ‘I am IN the KIN of the KING.’” I saw how the letter “I” nestled amongst the other letters and words within the word KING, and I also saw the message that I am part of the family of the King of the Universe. What joy came from this revelation! Thank you, Father! |
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| Abide in me as I abide in you. (John 15:4) | |
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Another
time I was learning about fasting and having difficulty understanding
how to fast effectively, when the Holy Spirit seemed to say, “First
let me teach you how to eat.” So I asked the Lord to teach me how
to eat. |
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Once
my eyes were opened to this, my attitude improved. I tried to make some
changes to my health habits accordingly, and made a commitment to honor
their recommendation based on scripture to avoid pork and shellfish. One
day I accompanied Jerry to a fancy gig at a winery and couldn’t
resist the prawns and crab cakes that were being offered as appetizers.
My idea of swearing off a food was that you could still have a little
sometimes if you felt like it. As I ate the forbidden foods, my face began
to swell in an allergic reaction. |
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| Kosher
foods can be seen as foods and food combinations that are toxic to us. It
is for our own good that God tells us not to eat them. Perhaps the prohibition
of pork and shellfish addresses a racial food intolerance, afflicting particularly
the descendents of the children of Israel. The Tada family explained that
the simple stomach of the pig makes his meat unclean, as do the pig's filthy
habits of eating dead things. Shellfish are bottom feeding creatures that
also subsist on filth. Jerry always calls them "sewer shrimp",
and that may be close to the truth. Since that incident I have had many opportunities to eat pork and shellfish, and have been mercifully freed of any desire to do so. |
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When I had a dream in which Jesus gave me a new skirt, I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what the dream meant. He gently prompted me to go to my bible. “But what scripture should I read?” I asked. He seemed to gently prompt me to just take up where I had left off in my daily progression through the bible. This happened to be Lamentations 1, in which Jerusalem is described as a widow and a slave who has sinned against the Lord grievously, worshipping other gods and forgetting the Word of the Lord. The following words came forward: “Her uncleanness was in her skirts.” The Lord was showing me through the dream and the reference to this scripture how through the grace of His salvation I was purified of my sins and clothed in a clean new skirt. Thank you, Father! |
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When I asked God to help me rid my house of filth, the following event occurred. I had three tiny glass vases sitting in a row on the coat hanger shelf by the front door. In each tiny glass vase was a miscellaneous collection of miniature objects, including glass animals, seashells, bird bones, toys and such. One
day I found that the shelf had tilted forward and one of the three glass
vases had slid off and crashed to the floor. In cleaning the mess I found
a tiny Buddha that had been in that vase unbeknownst to me. Interested
to confirm whether this event was divine or random, I spilled out the
contents of the other two vases to see if there were any other offensive
items hidden therein. There were none. |
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the time we also suffered from an infestation of rats beneath the house.
We asked for help from God with that as well. The rats could be heard
nibbling, nesting and scraping inside the walls. I instituted a program
of eradication that started with a device that emitted a high frequency
pitch to repel them. This caused them to move to another part of the wall.
Then I placed three loaded traps in their vicinity. All three traps snapped
without catching any rats. |
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Then one day in place of the usual tiny scraping sounds of small rodents we heard large animal scraping sounds in the wall that could only have come from a raccoon. We banged loudly to scare the critter away, our hearts sick with the thought of how our problem appeared to have grown in magnitude. In fact, our banging quickly scared the big guy away, and after he left there were no more rats. God sent a raccoon to rid us of rats. Thank you, Father! |
| I still have many questions before the Lord, some of which I've probably forgotten. I've asked Him to show me His heart. I've asked for insight on how to choose songs to sing. I rely on the gentle promptings, the "Ahem", of the Holy Spirit, to draw my attention to the answers when they come. I also rely on my readings of the Word of God for answers. When I get answers to the questions I pose, my faith increases. I see that I am not talking to myself or to an imaginary friend, but to a living and involved Master and Father who hears me, cares for me, loves me and wishes to instruct and converse with me. Thank you, Father! | |